What Do You Do When You Realize the Darkness Is in You?

Who is good, and who is evil? What do we do with those who exist in shades of gray? What happens when you discover there is darkness inside you?

The Dark Rise trilogy, by C.S. Pacat, brilliantly interrogates these questions, exploring themes of light and darkness and the power of humanity to resist the darkness within.

In Book 1, Dark Rise, we meet the Stewards, the last defenders of Light from the ancient world of magic, who are sworn to fight against the return of the Dark King. Yet as committed as they are to their mission, they harbor their own dark secret that makes them dangerously vulnerable.

We also meet Will, a 16-year-old dock boy in 1820s London who is on the run. He’s trying to evade the men who killed his mother when he was a child—men who are now trying to capture him.

Will is told that his destiny is to fight alongside the Stewards to prevent the Dark King from returning to his throne. Battle lines are drawn, and Will and his friends are forced to reckon with ancient enmities and alliances that put them on opposite sides. Will they believe in one another and trust one another’s motives? Or will they believe what they are told by those who refuse to allow for individual choice?

“But which of us is ready for what life asks us to face? We don’t choose the moment. The moment comes whether we will it or not, and we must make ourselves ready.” —C.S. Pacat, in Dark Rise

Despite Will’s traumatic history and experience with the worst of what people are capable of, he consistently chooses kindness. But he’s not without foibles. He can be sneaky. He deceives people. Of course, he has good reasons to do so—he’s trying to stay alive, and trying to keep his friends from abandoning him. It’s easy for him (and the reader) to justify his actions. We would do the same!

Then, in Book 2, Dark Heir, Will is confronted with a devastating truth about his identity. It wrecks him, but he doesn’t try to deny it. He determines to fight the darkness within. But will his friends allow him to? And will his desperate deception backfire?

“I think what people were is less important than what they are. And what people are is less important than what they could be.” —C.S. Pacat, in Dark Rise

Pacat’s story vividly illustrates that there’s no such thing as a “good” person or a “bad” person, only people who are choosing the light or the darkness in the present moment.

I am one of those people. You are one of those people. We can choose. We must choose. Even if our past has stacked the odds against us.

But in order to fight the darkness within us skillfully, we need to understand it. The Stewards practiced meditation to gain insight into their minds and mastery over their internal darkness. Will urgently sought to understand what happened in the past and the precise nature of the darkness inside him—and the insights he gained allowed him to fight the darkness much more effectively.

We must do the same. Interrogate the beliefs and prejudices we were raised with. Dig into the ways that fear drives our hurtful behaviors. Understand how trauma has shaped our harmful relationship patterns. Only by understanding where the darkness comes from, how it thrives, and what’s feeding it can we turn from it and embrace healthier, kinder, more open ways of being.

“When the past is forgotten, then it can return. Only those who remember have the chance to stave it off. For the dark is never truly gone; it only waits for the world to forget, so that it may rise again.” —C.S. Pacat, in Dark Rise

The flip side of this truth is that others can also resist succumbing to their darkness, while those who have a history of following the light can, at some point, succumb to their darkness if they lose sight of their vulnerability. Do we acknowledge that? Do we allow for that? Or is our view of human nature so rigid that we can’t wrap our minds around the fact that this is possible? And if we can’t allow for it, doesn’t this say something about how we see ourselves and the possibilities that exist within us?

Via the story of Dark Rise, Pacat asks us to consider:

• How will you face darkness when you encounter it?

• Does your past determine your future?

• Do you know who you are, truly?

• What will you choose, in this moment: darkness or light?

• Do you believe others can choose? Will you allow them to?

Wrapping up, I have to say that I can’t recommend the Dark Rise trilogy highly enough. I’ve had to leave out much of the magic of the books in this review to prevent spoilers, but C.S. Pacat is a master of twists and turns as well as heartbreak. I absolutely cannot wait for the release of Book 3.

Photo by Karsten Würth